What to do when someone doesn’t want help

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I save my truly dire needs for my therapist. Just getting through each hour may feel like a monumental accomplishment.

She took hungrily but gave nothing. I was on the phone to one of my closest friends the other day debriefing about something upsetting that had happened at work that day she works in the same field so it really helps to discuss it with her , and we talked through it and she provided a helpful perspective and it was going to end a positive, productive conversation. Even doing just one small thing daily, like making the bed every morning,.

Tips for Helping a Friend or Loved One with Depression

Dear ACF, Kudos to you for looking for a way to help your friend. Depression is an illness that affects a great many people—not just the suffering from major or clinical depression, but the people close to them too. The first step is to understand, as much as possible, what your friend is going through. From the outside, depression could look like regular sadness—the kind that touches all of our lives at times and brings us down before we eventually move on. Depression, however, is more extreme: symptoms last longer, emotions are more intense, and everyday life is simply harder to maintain. While a friend who is depressed might not study for weeks on end, avoid spending time with friends and family for weeks on end, and may fail classes or lose their job. Depression is not sadness. Sadness is common, normal, and, many would say,. You might be able to cheer up a sad friend with jokes, encouragement, or problem-solving. Depression, on the other hand, is a that can sometimes be devastating every 30 seconds, somewhere in the world someone takes his or her life. Note: If your friend seems suicidal, go straight to the —or your area's equivalent if you're outside the US—for advice. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense. Comedian Kevin Breel stated it so well in his : Looking back at my own experience, it can feel like you're in a dark hole, like the air has been squeezed out of you, and, at its worst point, feeling completely numb. But people who are depressed are usually pretty good at for fear of scaring people away. Unfortunately, depression is hard for even mental health professionals to pinpoint and treat, since there are several different forms of this illness, from debilitating major depression to more unique forms, such as and postpartum depression. The most important thing to know is depression is more serious than sadness, and so there are some things that are better to say and do than others. What You Can Do to Help It's hard, too, to be on the outside and not know why someone you care about is all of the sudden in the dumps and no longer enjoying things they used to or should love. As a friend, the best thing you can do is listen and be there for the person. Here are some tips: Be honest and express your concerns. DeGroat recommends noting any significant changes in behavior, mood, or personality, and then trying to talk to the person about it: People can exhibit symptoms of depression in many different ways: sadness, irritability, social withdrawal, self-destructive behaviors, loss of interest in activities, change in appetite, change in sleep, and so on. If there is, I would recommend beginning by asking your friend how things are going. Your friend may be primed and ready to discuss their feelings, and your invitation to talk might be just what they were waiting for. Is something bothering you? As James Altucher : Nobody wants to die. But its hard to go from wanting to die to suddenly being cheered up. You are totally right. Your job is to become a better listener and just be there for the person. It's all in your head. What do you even have to be depressed about? Instead, stay in contact frequently emails, quick calls to say hello , much like you would. Even doing just one small thing daily, like making the bed every morning,. Dear Lifehacker, This year has been a very difficult one for me. Hope Racine writes about a few lessons she learned while loving someone with depression, including stop wondering if you somehow caused the depression. Also, trying to help someone in emotional distress can be draining and stressful for you, so remember to take care of your own emotional health too. Enlist the help of others. You can get guidance from a professional a school guidance counselor, the , or others you know to help find the best strategy to help a loved one. You could also talk with friends in common to do the same. Help the other person understand about depression, if you can. If you've been through depression yourself, sharing that fact could take away any fear the person has of sharing what they're going through. Some people need medication just be able to get out of bed in the morning, others find psychotherapy helpful, others take it one episode at a time. Regardless, it would help to show your friend you understand that depression isn't: a sign of weakness, something they should be embarrassed about, or something they should hide. Depression carries a terrible stigma, and that keeps people from getting the help they need. If your friend's depressive symptoms are interfering with life e. DeGroat says he'd recommend talking to them about seeing a psychologist or therapist. You could help your friend find a center or a therapist and if the therapist doesn't work out, as sometimes happens, encourage her to keep at it until she finds someone who can help. What if they want you to back off or are reluctant to get help? Remind them that sometimes we need to get a mental check-up just like we get other medical exams. You might have to collaborate with other friends and family members if it gets very serious and your friend still resists. No one would avoid the doctor if they were having severe heart pain or broke their leg, depression is no less of an important health issue. Again, most importantly, if your friend begins to express any hints she might hurt herself or someone else, you should contact the authorities for help because you can't do this on your own. This is the number again for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: : 1—800—273-TALK 8255. Sincerely, Lifehacker Photo by.

You can idea them to cope with depressions symptoms, overcome negative thoughts, and regain their energy, optimism, and enjoyment of life. Irritability is a very common symptom, for example, and rarely are people who experience this symptom extended any sympathy. Hi smcmf's, I have a partner who suffers depression and I have been solo of him in a hide the knives sort of way. Then, things go from bad to worse. Just snap out of it. For example, while it seems that people most commonly use the term to express fleeting feelings of sadness or disappointment, depression is actually a chronic gusto illness with symptoms that are mostly. Somehow he has to be shocked into believing that he does need help, which is what happened with me, but it took awhile for it to register for myself.